One night, in December 2023, Bud Abbott threw a holiday party. This was his conversation with his friend Lou Costello…
Abbott: Hey Lou, welcome to the party! I invited a bunch of new friends so you will meet a wide variety of great people tonight.
Costello: Glad to be here! Looking around the room I can see plenty of new faces I have never met. Hey, who is that guy, the big guy that looks like a WWE wrestler?
Abbott: Oh, that’s Meagan.
Costello: Meagan? That’s a guy.
Abbott: No, Meagan is a she.
Costello: No way, impossible. (At that moment Meagan turned around facing the two and Costello saw a full beard) See! A full beard.
Abbott: Yes, she has a full beard. (Costello felt like he had entered the twilight zone but gave up on understanding Meagan)
Costello: Okay, what about that young woman over there? The tiny one. Looks like a ballerina.
Abbott: Oh, that’s Maria. They are new to town.
Costello: They? Who? Who is they?
Abbott: Maria.
Costello: And who? (He looked around the room and spotted another young woman) I bet it is her. The other young woman in the red sweater. Her?
Abbott: No, Maria is they. Them’s name is Maria but they are a they. That’s Lucy in the red sweater. Lucy is non-binary.
Costello: I’m still stuck on they. But okay, what did you say? Non-whatinary?
Abbott: Non-binary.
Costello: I’m confused.
Abbott: It’s simple. Meagan? She invited they to the party but they is not with dem (pointing at Lucy).
Costello: Dem? Lucy’s a Democrat?
Abbott: No, dem is not a democrat. I think dey is a libertarian, actually.
Costello: Oh boy… So let me get this straight.
Abbott: Yes, please do.
Costello: Meagan, the six-foot five person with a beard and muscles like an ox is a girl. Maria, they is just one, not two. Lucy, dey’s not with Maria and not a Democrat, but libertarian.
Abbott: Now you’re getting it!
Costello: Okay, how about the old man over there?
Abbott: Ghost’s name is Mike.
Costello: Ghost? Is that real?
Abbott: It is, look it up.
Costello: I need a drink. Happy holidays.
With that, Lou headed to the bar.
