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Speak No Further

Aside from mob-like and Marxists groups, periodically it seems as if the U.S. is a linguistically authoritarian society

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Every single day in America, the verbal fascism of groups such as Antifa, BLM, and the Left in general is on full display: In some professions and in some circles, unless you employ the exact words and phrases that they approve, be on guard.

Nevertheless, aside from these mob and Marxists groups, periodically it seems as if the U.S. is an authoritarian society. Although each of the following statements otherwise seem perfectly acceptable, my personal experience confirms that you’d better not utter them.

Do Not Mention Job Offers

I received unemployment compensation only once in my life, in between my first and second job. When I was asked by an unemployment office agent if I had been looking for jobs in the last two weeks, I replied yes.

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In fact, I volunteered, I even received an offer, however the offer was from a company quite far from my residence and for far less salary than I had been earning years ago. So, I had to turn it down.

With that, on cue, the agent became indignant. Bzzzz! Wrong answer. Was this the moment for which she lived? She emphatically informed me that I’d receive no further unemployment compensation. I had violated the rules.

The rules, apparently, encompassed having to accept a job offer even if the job paid far less than you are accustomed to be earning, represented a hardship in terms of the distance involved, and was not truly in your field.

I was 25 years old, with no savings, barely making my way in the career world. I labored for another eight weeks to finally land the right job; I surely could have used the unemployment compensation during that time. Lesson learned, I’ll never volunteer that kind of information again.

Don’t Talk About IRS Procedures

Years later, I brought coins to a show and was seeking to sell them to a particular dealer. In the back of my mind, I recalled that if you deposit too much cash in the bank on any given day, you might flag the IRS. Never mind that I was seeking to sell coins that I purchased with money which I had earned, and upon which I had already paid taxes. Never mind that I was selling the coins at a slight loss.

Harmlessly (I thought), I asked a coin dealer, “What is the amount that triggers IRS scrutiny?” With this question, the dealer went gray, clammed up, and told me, “I can’t discuss that with you.” Huh?

“Otherwise, I am potentially colluding to violate IRS rules.” I said, “What? I’m simply asking if you know what the sum happens to be.” He clammed up even further. I could see this conversation was going nowhere, so I stopped on a dime.

The Internal Revenue Service used to be called the Department of Taxation. Funny, I’m not sure where the ‘service’ aspect of their activities kick-in. In contemporary America, why can you not ask a simple question related to the laws of our nation?

Don’t Cite Your Reasons

I’ve been donating blood for years. It is helpful to me and it is helpful for those in need. The need presumably is urgent: I continually receive messages from the Red Cross every few days, even after I’ve already donated, asking me to donate again. For health and safety, one is asked to wait at least eight weeks between donations.

So, one day, I’m at a local Red Cross chapter, donating blood, as I do every eight weeks. During an encounter with the nurse on hand, I mentioned that one of the reasons I donate blood is that I have a high iron count. Donating blood helps to keep it in check.

At that point she bristled, then regained her composure, and told me I should not mention my reasons. Donating blood for purposes of lowering your iron count, which has some technical name, gets you thrown out of the system.

Oh, excuse me!

On that very same visit, because I have a blood type that is in demand, I was asked by someone else if I could come in more often to make other kinds of transfusion donations?

So, they want me to visit more often to donate what they need. Yet, if I seek to make a donation that benefits both the Red Cross and myself, I am violating Red Cross regulations? Guess who is going to seek someplace place to donate blood, other than at the local Red Cross?

Such Deadly Words

The above scenarios are tame and lame compared to the ridicule, employment termination, career destruction, physical attack, or death that might fall you if you have the temerity to state in public, or in a public forum, “All Lives Matter,” “All Black Lives Matter,” “White Lives Matter” “All Baby Lives Matter,” “All Victims Matter,” or, God forbid, “Blue Lives Matter.”

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Jeff Davidson is the world's only holder of the title "The Work-Life Balance Expert®" as awarded by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. He is the premier thought leader on work-life balance, integration, and harmony. Jeff speaks to organizations that seek to enhance their overall productivity by improving the effectiveness of their people. He is the author of Breathing Space, Simpler Living, Dial it Down, and Everyday Project Management. Visit www.BreathingSpace.com for more information on Jeff's keynote speeches and seminars, including: Managing the Pace with Grace® * Achieving Work-Life Balance™ * Managing Information and Communication Overload®



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Life

Too Tired for Your Own Good

The realization that you are fatigued is the first step to resolution

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It’s Sunday. Go back to bed and then return to this article!

Based on what you do an average day, it is understandable that sometimes you feel very tired, but when is the tired feeling that you have bordering on danger? Many signs exist, among them these:

    1. Your fatigue is prolonged. Getting several nights of extra sleep in a row or sleeping for an entire weekend doesn’t seem to put a dent in your feeling of fatigue. Perhaps worse, you feel as if you “will never catch up.”
    2. You experience indigestion or lack of appetite. You normally look forward to meals, but when highly fatigued, you have trouble getting them down. Maybe, you’re eating less.
    3. Loss of sex drive. This isn’t as obvious a sign as you might think. Loss of your libido usually takes place a little bit at a time, such that you don’t notice what’s going on. Your partner probably will, though.
    4. You begin to experience trouble getting to sleep, if not outright insomnia. During the night, you find yourself waking more often or tossing back and forth, and then to exacerbate the situation, you spend the rest of the night worrying that you’re not getting good sleep.
    5. You feel tired in the morning even after getting a full night’s sleep. Realistically, there’s no reason for this. If by 9:30 or 10:00 in the morning, you can hardly keep your head up, it’s time to take heed.
    6. Your ability to focus on the task at hand is diminished. Your powers of concentration are not what they have been in the past. Generally, this is not due to your aging.
    7. You feel that you’re no longer in control. In many ways, this is the most insidious of the signs. You doze at highly inopportune moments, such as in an important meeting, or when driving.

Not Enough Sleep, but Otherwise Functional

Here’s a second list of indicators showing that you’re not getting enough sleep, but perhaps you’re not at the danger level:

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  • Your eyes are red.
  • You’re not mentally sharp.
  • You avoid tasks that involve adding up numbers.
  • You find yourself daydreaming often.
  • In situations with others you simply go through the motions.
  • You don’t want to handle any phone calls if you can help it.
  • You watch the clock frequently throughout the day, hoping it will go by more quickly.

Before I learned how to keep my stress level in check, I used to look forward to going to the dentist. When I got to the dentist’s chair, and they tilted the seat back, it was one of the few times during the day where I actually reclined and had relatively little to do. If there wasn’t to be any drilling or serious poking during the session, such as a routine visit or cleaning, in some cases I became so relaxed that I didn’t want to leave. For me, that was an indication that I was highly fatigued.

You probably have your own personal corollaries to this. The realization that you are fatigued is the first step to increasing your efficiency and defeating the problem.  A life of constant exhaustion, no matter what else you accomplish, is not a desirable situation. No one, however, is coming to bail you out.

The road back from exhaustion starts with self-awareness, then resolve, then action. Will today be that day?

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Life

Work-life Balance and the Five-Mega-Realities

Work-life balance is the ability to experience a sense of control and to stay productive and competitive at work while maintaining a happy, healthy home life with needed leisure

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In the 1st edition of my book Breathing Space which appeared in 1990, I discussed five major trends – what I called mega-realities – that influenced every aspect of our being, and from which no one was immune. Briefly, these five mega-realities include:

* an expanding volume of knowledge
* mass media growth and electronic addiction
* the paper trail culture
* an over-abundance of choices
* population growth.

Knowledge – In one way or another, everyone fears being under-informed. The enormous volume of new knowledge broadcasted and published in every field exceeds our ability to keep pace. More words are published and broadcast in a day than you could ingest during your lifetime. America leads the world in sheer volume of information generated and disseminated.

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The impasse of this over-information era is that the time necessary to learn the rules for effective living now exceeds your lifetime. This is why management books so often miss the mark: they list dozens — if not hundreds — of rules, when you are already grappling with more rules than you can handle.

Mass Media – The effect of the mass media on our lives continues unchecked. More than four out of five American households own DVD players. In 1972, three major television networks dominated television – ABC, NBC and CBS. Now, there are more than 500 full-power independent television stations. Many cable TV subscribers receive up to 200 channels that offer more than 72,000 shows per month.

With its sensationalized trivia, the mass media glut obscures fundamental issues that do merit concern, such as preserving the environment or feeding the poor.

Paper Trails – Like having too much data and eyewitness reports, having too much paper to deal with makes you feel overwhelmed and overworked. Americans today are consuming three times as much paper as ten years ago. There are two basic reasons why society spews so much paper:

* We have the lowest postal rates in the world.
* We have the widest base of paper-generating technologies.

The typical executive receives more than 200 pieces of unsolicited mail each month – about 12 pieces daily. The average family receives more than 100 catalogs that they did not request, on top of those they did request.

An Overabundance of Choices – Having choices is a blessing of the free market economy, but it’s overwhelming, increases time expenditure, and is a mounting form of exhaustion. More than 1,260 varieties of shampoo are on the market. More than 2,000 skin-care products are for sale. An excess of 75 different types of exercise shoes are available, each with scores of variations in style, function, and features.

Population – From the beginning of creation to 1,850 AD, world population grew to one billion. It grew to two billion by 1930, and is now approaching eight billion. Every three years, nearly 250,000,000 people are added to the planet.

Each day, world population (births minus deaths) increases by more than 265,000 people. Geometric growth in human population permeates and dominates every aspect of our earth, its resources, the environment, and all living things.

The Quest for Work-life Balance

Against this backdrop, the quest for work-life balance is more vital than ever. Predictably, a preponderance of speakers, trainers, authors, journalists, and others whose professions entail regular communication with the masses, proclaim the virtues of achieving and maintaining work-life balance.

However, a glaring question arises. What, exactly, is work-life balance? Compared to the legions of instances in which the term is cited, surprisingly little has been written in articles and books about what the concept actually entails.

During my 33 years in pursuit of understanding why the pace of society has sped up, what the impact has been on the typical individual, and how each of us can forge our own sense and experience of breathing space throughout our lives, I have honed and refined the tenets of what I consider work-life balance.

What Exactly is Work-life Balance ?

For several years now, those who apparently have no idea what work-life balance is and have virtually never experienced it are proclaiming that it is passe — in favor of work-life harmony or work-life integration.

The truth is, these terms all mean approximately the same things. You can split hairs anyway you want, and I suppose that’s a good way to differentiate a program if you’re seeking to offer one to clients, but the reality is work-life balance is the overarching issue of our time that all career professionals strive to achieve.

Work-life balance is the ability to experience a sense of control and to stay productive and competitive at work while maintaining a happy, healthy home life with sufficient leisure. It is attaining focus and awareness, despite seemingly endless tasks and activities competing for your time and attention.

Work-life balance entails having some breathing space for yourself each day; feeling a sense of accomplishment, while not being consumed by work; and having an enjoyable domestic life without short-changing career obligations. It is rooted in whatever fulfillment means to you within 24-hour days, seven-day weeks, and however many years you have left.

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