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Choosing to Trust Yourself

Every other day, we’re given contradictory, ‘authoritative,’ new advice on social distancing, masks, what’s safe, and what isn’t.

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Every other day, it seems we are given new ‘authoritative’ advice on social distancing, masks, what’s safe, and what isn’t. Much of the news to which we’re exposed contradicts what we were already told.

The CDC and some top officials, who shall remain nameless, have done less than a stellar job of providing reliable public information. Some governors in large population states, have been inconsistent, partial, duplicitous, authoritarian, and, in some cases, criminal.

Who Can I turn To?

Against such a backdrop, how does John and Jane Q. Citizen move forward professionally and personally? This is not foolproof but works as well as anything we’ve seen: Trust yourself and your decisions.

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Trusting yourself enhances your ability to choose based on limited or inconsistent information. A study in the 1940s of highly successful people uniformly found that they reached decisions quickly and retreated from them slowly.

A more recent study found when people make decisions based on instinct, they are happier or at least more content than those who make decisions based on careful analysis. Hmm. Too much thinking could be hazardous to your choices – and to your happiness!

Reinforcing Statements

Here is the statement that reinforces your desire to trust yourself: “I choose to trust my ability to make the right choice.” Another essential choice is choosing to feel worthy and complete, simply spoken to yourself: “I choose to feel worthy and complete.” This helps me reduce anxiety, stay calm, and feel more relaxed.

Depending on how long it has been since you’ve felt worthy and complete, you might have to make this choice for many days or weeks running – but keep at it.

By choosing to feel worthy and complete, you automatically redirect yourself to accept that there is nothing you must do. Everything is based on your choice.

If you choose to continue working on some task, even one assigned to you, the choice is made in the present moment, and not based on a prior agenda. A worthy and complete feeling yields a tremendous sense of inner harmony.

Maintaining Your Choices

As with any quest to reinforce choices you make, write or type your choices and post them, or voice record them and play them back. How many choices can you make at once? Make a few or many, there is no limit.

Choose what feels right for you. And keep choosing. While you’re waiting in a bank line, run through your choices. If you notice yourself wavering, recall the new behavior or feeling that you’ve chosen.

You can choose to overcome rituals that no longer support you, or you can make choices beyond anything others would have guessed you’d choose.

A new idea is such a rare thing. We often simply parrot what we hear and read. You can make choices that are not congruent with your history. You can makes choices that no one has ever made before.

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Jeff Davidson is the world's only holder of the title "The Work-Life Balance Expert®" as awarded by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. He is the premier thought leader on work-life balance, integration, and harmony. Jeff speaks to organizations that seek to enhance their overall productivity by improving the effectiveness of their people. He is the author of Breathing Space, Simpler Living, Dial it Down, and Everyday Project Management. Visit www.BreathingSpace.com for more information on Jeff's keynote speeches and seminars, including: Managing the Pace with Grace® * Achieving Work-Life Balance™ * Managing Information and Communication Overload®



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Life

The Fine Art of Doing Nothing

Sometimes it’s hard to be alone, especially alone with our own thoughts

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“…people never are alone now. We make them hate solitude; and we arrange their lives so that it’s almost impossible for them ever to have it.” ~ Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley

In this era, it’s becoming harder to be alone, especially alone with our own thoughts. Dr. Timothy Wilson, a social psychologist at the University of Virginia, along with other researchers conducted an experiment with student volunteers. The students were given two options: For 15 uninterrupted minutes they could do nothing.

Or, they could give themselves a small, electric shock. Roughly 67% of the men and 25% of the women in the experiment chose to give themselves small shocks, even though earlier, many had proclaimed that they would pay money not to endure such a shock.

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Anxious for Anything To Do

Why did they opt for the shock? They became increasingly anxious for anything to do over the course of the 15 minutes. Aha, you say! These were probably millennials for whom a 15-minute stretch of doing nothing is virtually impossible.

As it turns out, the participants consisted of adults recruited from a farmer’s market and from a church. They acted in much the same way that you might expect of millennials. They felt anxious and antsy when left alone for a 15-minute stretch with nothing else to do but be with themselves.

The question  for each of us is why is it becoming so hard to take a few moments throughout the day to simply do nothing? Have we become such a driven populace that we cannot even spare a few minutes for ourselves? Do we not recognize the peace of mind that we can experience when we’re not fully occupied every minute of the day?

Weaning Yourself

If you feel that you are constantly seeking to optimize every minute of the day, and perhaps are oversubscribed, over-informed, and overwhelmed, here are interlaced ideas that you can put into practice:

Start small. Rather than attempt a long stretch of doing simply nothing, see if you can last for 60 seconds or maybe 120 if you’re feeling brave. It’s best to attempt this after you finish a task, and feel good about your accomplishment. Marinade in your positive feelings.

Perhaps before you go to lunch or return from lunch, or before or after taking a break, why not allow yourself a little time to pause and, well, simply do nothing.

If you have a 15 minute break, where is it written that you can’t spend 60 seconds at your desk doing nothing, take a 13 minute break, then spend the last 60 seconds at your desk, again doing nothing.

Expand Your Ability

As you build more and more confidence in your ability to take some time out with no thoughts or activities in mind, strive for three to five minutes. If you arrive at work early, you could spend such time in your car with the radio off, not checking your cell phone, and not doing anything, other than simply sitting there.

At your workplace, maybe you can spend three minutes undetected in a conference room, corporate library, rooftop terrace, or elsewhere.

At home, where you have more flexibility, could you attempt a short weekend session? This should be no problem. During the weekday, it’s understandable that you seek to efficiently commute to and from work, although even on weeknights it might be possible for you to carve out a few minutes. Think of all the times you’ve been online, or you flick through the TV channels, and how aimless that can be.

Reinforce What Works

As time passes, giving yourself some stretches here and there where you don’t have to do anything can become reinforcing. You have the opportunity to take a deep breath. You get a chance to reflect, or to clear your mind. You have time to visualize.

Even if none of these things happen, you still get a chance to slow down. Any way you look at it, it’s a good proposition.

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Faith

WOW. Grab the Kleenex and Watch this Girl Sing!

Simon Cowell gives Nightbirde the Golden Buzzer

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WOW. Grab the Kleenex and Watch this Girl Sing!

Simon Cowell gives Nightbirde the Golden Buzzer after her beautiful performance of “It’s Okay.” Nightbirde chases her dreams and proves that she is so much more than her cancer!

This is a message you will want to share! Watch below:

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