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Tucker Carlson

Breaking News! Joe Biden is elderly and unpopular!

Obviously, Biden isn’t going to serve two terms, so as a public service, CNN has assembled a list of people who should replace Joe Biden.

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Tucker shares CNN’s list of presidential replacements they’ve offered up for 2024. Highlights include:

“Let’s check in with our friends over at CNN to see what they’re covering today on their ‘news’ channel. Ooh, looks like they’re planning a palace coup at the White House, just another day in Washington.”

“Turns out CNN’s researchers have discovered that Joe Biden is elderly and unpopular.”

Trending on PolitiCrossing.com: Tucker: Scarred by Insurrection 2.0

“Obviously, Biden isn’t going to serve two terms, so as a public service, CNN has assembled a list of people who should replace Joe Biden.”

“It turns out supporting Joe Biden was never about any specific ideology, we on the right fell for that one, but these people have no interest in principles or ideas. Loyalty is a foreign concept to them. They care only about power.”

“It’s kind of scary, really. Thankfully, this same group is also stupid. Stupidity is their one redeeming quality. If they were smart, they’d take over the world, they’re certainly ruthless enough. But thank God they can’t do that because they’re too limited by their own bigotries and their tiny intellects.”

“First on the list is Kamala Harris; that makes sense, she’s the vice president. The problem is, nobody likes Kamala Harris.”

“Kamala Harris is a charmless phony who has such total and utter contempt for your intelligence that she fully expects you to believe that her fake laugh is real.”

“Honestly, it’s not necessarily a deal killer in politics. No one ever called Richard Nixon charming, yet Nixon won the biggest presidential landslide in American history in 1970.”

“The difference is Richard Nixon was competent. He had skills, he could do things. Kamala Harris doesn’t, and she can’t.”

“If CNN scholars could do science, which of course they can’t, Pete Buttigieg is the candidate they would create in their basement lab. Pete Buttigieg couldn’t even run South Bend, Indiana. He tried, couldn’t. That’s not really surprising. Buttigieg has never shown any interest in improving the lives of actual people, his only real skill is talking about himself.”

Watch the video below to see the rest of CNN’s short list for presidential replacements and cast your vote in the comments.

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Tucker Carlson

Tucker: Missouri becomes the first state to ban abortion

It’s a big day for democracy, for the voters now to have a say, as opposed to 9 unelected justices back 49 years ago that decided this for everybody in the country.

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Tucker interviews Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt about the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v Wade, why it shouldn’t have existed in the first place and what happens next. Highlights include:

“The law behind the Roe v Wade decision of 1973 was so shoddy and ridiculous, because of course abortion’s not mentioned in the Constitution, not even alluded to, that a lot of people figured out a long time ago that it would at some point be overturned because it was too absurd to continue. And so, a lot of states have been preparing for it.”

“Eventually, roughly half the country is expected to implement significant new restrictions on abortion, and that matches public opinion polling on abortion, which is to say a lot of people don’t like abortion. If you live in New York City you might not know any of them, but if you live in Mississippi you know quite a few.”

Trending on PolitiCrossing.com: Tucker: Scarred by Insurrection 2.0

“The point is, people will get to live with the laws that they want. How’s that bad?”

“The Roe decision, as Justice Alito said, the day it was issued was on a collision course with the Constitution. And so this issue will be decided, as it should’ve been 49 years ago, to the states.”

“It’s a big day for democracy, for the voters now to have a say, as opposed to 9 unelected justices back 49 years ago that decided this for everybody in the country. And I think what you’re seeing now with this ‘night of rage’ that’s been talked about, the justice department has no interest in condemning it, they haven’t done anything to stop it. You’ve seen an assassination attempt of a Supreme Court Justice. You see this intimidation that’s gonna’ continue.”

“The justice department’s way more interested, evidently, in sic’ing the FBI in going after parents who show up to school board meetings under the ‘Patriot Act’ than in arresting folks who are intimidating Supreme Court justices.”

Watch the video below and tell us what you think in the comments.

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Tucker Carlson

Tucker: It’s time to reassess our view of Kamala Harris

Deconstruct your unconscious bias and ask yourself, would a moron be capable of repeating the same canned phrase dozens of times with this kind of precision, without changing a single facial expression?

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Tucker extols the under-appreciated genius of Kamala Harris that he’s been missing for so long in his blind racism. Highlights include:

“You following this? So, Kamala Harris is like your sister in the same way that Michelle Obama would be like your sister if your sister was your cousin and also married to the president. Why hadn’t we realized it before?”

“Well, as Joy Reid pointed out, ‘most of the media is still white and male’, of course. Those damned white males, always hiding the sister/cousin connection, it’s what they do. But for us, the veil had been lifted. We could see for the first time what our racism had blinded us to for so long and the truth hurt. It was so painful that for days we had to wear sunglasses, even indoors. But it was worth it because at that point began a journey of contrition and self-discovery that honestly was long overdue.”

Trending on PolitiCrossing.com: Tucker: Scarred by Insurrection 2.0

“Our assumption, really for decades, was that politicians who make a habit of using the word ‘truth’ are probably, really by definition, lying. That’s why they say ‘truth’ so often… What struck us was that she repeats the same line again and again and again, and our old reaction was derision… Not exactly Socrates, that was the phrase we used.”

“But that reaction, we now see, comes from a place of privilege.”

“Evaluate your priors! Deconstruct your unconscious bias and ask yourself, would a moron be capable of repeating the same canned phrase dozens of times with this kind of precision, without changing a single facial expression? Oh, no, try that at home. You can’t do it, you’re too self-aware. It’s impossible to you, but not to Kamala Harris.”

“When Kamala Harris tells us again and again and again that we need to work together, she’s not simply repeating some vapid canned soundbyte she’s been handed by her handlers.. No, she’s literally, literally, moving human evolution forward. She’s making the species better on a cellular level. How long ’til we can fly? If Kamala Harris keeps it up, not long. She does this all the time.”

“Okay, so, again, there are a couple of ways to assess that claim.. The old us, before we were reborn…The old us would’ve said ‘Wait a second, Kamala Harris! African Americans weren’t actually enslaved for 400 years in this country, that’s not true.’, but we would’ve missed the point. So, what happened here is Kamala Harris before her talk googled ‘how long was there slavery in America?’ and she saw that it’d been 400 years since slavery began in America, which is true.”

“But, she forgot to subtract the years since the Emancipation Proclamation. It’s actually fewer than 400, about 150 years fewer than 400, which would put us around 250, but whatever. The point is, that’s not her fault. It’s Google’s fault for not doing the subtraction for her.”

“And who runs Google? White men.”

Watch the video below and tell us what you think in the comments.

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