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AHA! Biden’s Speech Changed My Mind (Satire)

I’ve had a change of heart after listening to President Biden the other night…

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SATIRE ALERT

I’ve had a change of heart after listening to President Biden the other night. He really made me think it through and I have come to some new conclusions…

I too am sick and tired of you MAGA Republicans. You guys are all semi-fascists. Not “full” fascist, but you know, semi-fascist. I mean just look at you people. Look at what you want to do. As Joe said last night, “the MAGA Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic.” So there! The entire country could literally DIE because of your ideas!

Fascism is “characterized by a dictatorial leader, centralized autocracy, militarism, forcible suppression of opposition, belief in a natural social hierarchy, subordination of individual interests for the perceived good of the nation and race, and strong regimentation of society and the economy.” I know it sounds like Democrats but it isn’t. Don’t look behind the curtain.

It’s time to be done with you MAGA people. I mean just LOOK at what you support:

You and your “love all people based on their character and merit rather than the color of their skin” baloney. How can we divide people into manageable voting blocks without getting people separated by skin color or how they have sex and with whom? And pronouns. Get with the program, or are you just too dumb to figure it all out? Of course a single person can be “they.” Language is a social construct, idiots.

You and your ilk telling everyone we should be able to “speak freely.” BS! Keep your mouths shut, crazies. Words are violence!

You and the whole “energy independence” sham. What a crock. We should rely on countries that hate us to sell us energy, even though we could produce it on our own. That just makes sense. If you can’t figure that out, well, you are too far gone. No amount of nonsense will make sense to you.

Look at you puritanical mobsters, with your “six year old boys shouldn’t be allowed to transition to little girls.” Who are you to tell a ten year old girl she can’t have her uterus removed? Her body, her choice.

Strong military? Hogwash, you power-mongers! It’s a new world order where we will be taking directions from the Chinese Communist Party, thank you very much. It’s THEIR turn to lead. You think they gave the Biden family $30,000,000 for nothing? Sheesh, you just don’t know how the world works, do you?

Oh, and the idea that you want to protect life? Give me a break. Just because it has a heartbeat, arms, legs, a head, a brain, a fully formed body, blah, blah, blah, does not mean its a baby. SCIENCE!

Keeping inflation in check? Gas prices too high? Get an electric car, you cavemen. Groceries too high? Eat some celery.

Prosecute and imprison violent offenders? Keep it to yourselves, racists! These people DESERVE a 14th chance.

Oh and you want us to honor the flag? No way, imperialist scumbags. It’s not like the flag represents the greatest country ever, one that has helped countries all over the world with aid and military protection. Not like America has been the line between freedom and communist world domination or anything.

Freedom of religion? Not on our watch, fanatics. Power is our God. The Golden Rule? He who has the gold, makes the rules.

The right to bear arms? Yeah, you and every other terrorist. The founders had MUSKETS, so there. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it (Don’t actually, tobacco products are harmful to your health).

Follow the Constitution? It’s 2022, you backwoods imbeciles.

You want to just be left alone? Not on our watch. Not to sound arrogant, but we went to Harvard and Yale, and well, frankly, we’re just smarter than you. We took feminist art studies. What did you take? Accounting? We are the enlightened. It is a new world and we’ll let you know what’s acceptable from now on.

No, President Biden is right. You are a threat to democracy. I mean, really you’re not, but in order to bring down democracy we have to scare the living hell out of most Americans with an enemy we can pin the blame on. But who cares, it’s all in the name of fundamentally transforming America. Take that, you insurrectionist, threat to democracy, semi-fascists. It’s you. YOU are the target now. We will use the FBI, Homeland Security, anything we need to to make sure you can’t spread your crazy ideas.

I’m not going to stand with you freedom-loving fascists anymore. No, I’m throwing in with the kind and loving Democrats. They are far superior to you half-wits. Because they care so much for us they will tell us exactly how to believe, and how to live, and we will like it… or else.

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Chris is the Founder of PolitiCrossing, one of the World's Top 50 Speakers and a member of the Motivational Speakers Hall of Fame. He considers it a privilege to be able to speak to people, help them lead successful lives, become extraordinary leaders and, masterful salespeople. Chris has authored twenty-three books with three million copies in print in 14 languages and over 450 articles on success, leadership, sales and motivation.



 
 
 

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Elections

Let’s Reclaim America’s Optimism Advantage

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On this New Year’s Day, America needs more than a parade and great football games; our people need renewed optimism in living our American Dream. Instead of looking for government fixes or some magical new president who will make things right, we need a kick in the pants to get busy making America work no matter what obstacles we face.

At the 1992 Republican Convention, Ronald Reagan shared what he considered the secret of his success as our President: “I appealed to your best hopes, not your worst fears, to your confidence, rather than your doubts.”

Oh, how we need leadership like that in America today. As we start this year, too many people feel powerless. Inflation may be coming down, but high fuel and food prices have taken their toll on far too many Americans. Watching the invasion on our Southern border means too many of our cities are being overwhelmed with no end in sight. We wonder if there is anything we can do but watch. The sense of despair and helplessness is contagious, but so is optimism. What attitude do you spread?

There is more than you think within your control. Every day, you make choices to make your situation better or worse. Studies of optimism find that optimism comes from a track record of overcoming obstacles. If you have had obstacles the last few years and are still making it work, pat yourself on the back. Be a proud survivor, not a victim so many seem to take pride in claiming to be.

Make each day count by starting your day doing one thing to make your situation better. Find one way to cut expenses. Find a way to increase your resources. Make a call or visit to nurture your network of colleagues and friends. Learn from your mistakes and celebrate your successes, both big and small. Nurture your faith realizing that God gave you gifts and give thanks every day for the blessings you have. Lest you forget, you’re blessed to live in America. People risk everything to come here, and few want to leave.

Yes, this is an election year, and it would sure be a gift to have a leader who would nurture the hope and optimism of all our citizens. So as the campaigns progresses and you listen to potential leaders vying for your support, ask yourself a few key questions:

Do they want to control your choices or ensure your freedoms?

Do they want to make you more or less dependent on government?

Do they want to increase the size of government and entitlements and the taxes needed to fund them or decrease them?

Do they want to force your children to go to public schools that don’t’ get the results your children deserve, or are they willing to give you the freedom to pick the schools your children need?

Do they disagree with their opponents and state why, or do they demean them and call them names?

Do they want to grow the size of government and its debt, or do they want to decrease both?

Do they believe in the citizens they represent, or do they convey that they are the answer to America’s future?

Do they take responsibility for their mistakes and actions or quickly deny responsibility and blame others?

No President is perfect. It’s easy to promise and a lot harder to deliver. Reagan focused on three things: an optimism based on free-enterprise innovation, smaller government, and lower taxes. He delivered on all but smaller government. As Reagan advisor Arnold Laffer confessed, “When it came to cutting welfare payments and school lunch,…it was very hard. Someone would come over and say, ‘How can you cut school lunches?’ Reagan would reply, ‘I guess you’re right; I’ll tell them not to cut that one.’”

The pressure to keep growing government is tempting and easy to understand, but it is not what America was created for. America’s form of government was designed to protect citizens from an over-controlling, over-taxing government. We need to reclaim that passion for freedom and self-reliance. Our founding citizens wanted the opportunity to pursue happiness, not happiness given to them at the expense of other taxpayers.

The election is months away. So I’m going to borrow on the optimism of Ronald Reagan to inspire us all on this first day of 2024: “I’m not taking your time…to ask you to trust me. Instead, I ask you to trust yourself. That is what America is all about… It’s the power of millions of people like you who will determine what will make America great again.”

Reagan wouldn’t want us to wait for the next election. We’ve had enough of eloquent politicians who think they have all the answers. We need to believe in ourselves and get busy living our own dreams. Then, in November, let’s elect a leader who will stay out of our way and give “We the People” freedom again—freedom to fail, succeed, and thrive in our own American Dream!
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Faith

Three Cheers for Christian America

Thank you for safeguarding the public and private expressions of others

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Considering all the nations in the world and the dominating religions within those nations, Christianity is the most beneficial. When Christians are in the majority, it is good for everyone who resides there.

Christians during the Dark Ages, the Renaissance, and up to the mid-20th century contributed to much of the world’s turmoil. In recent decades, however, they have been the most accommodating, accepting, and peaceful group. I’m glad I live in a Christian nation and, given the options globally, would not have it any other way.

Best of the Best

Particularly in America, Christians today are tolerant, acknowledging the rights of others. They recognize the right of Israel to exist. They fully embrace Israel’s strategic role in the Middle East.

Too many people on the left who regard themselves as the arbiters of what is right and true, in minor and major ways have been persecuting Christians for decades. They do not want public displays of Christianity anywhere in America. Their agenda is to remove all vestiges of religion in America. They contend that America would be a better, more egalitarian nation.

Just the opposite is true. Those who want to stamp out religion in America don’t understand that our origins and 250-year history is based on Judeo-Christian principles. The cancel culture left seek to reject the U.S. Constitution out-of-hand.

We have encountered leftist groups who shatter statues and historic symbols they deem to be oppressive and part of an old regime that was illegitimate from the outset. Many of these perpetrators hide behind ski masks while regarding themselves as heroes. In reality, they are fascists, seeking to control us.

Leftist enforcers have no idea how intolerant they are and that they are no better than those they seek to diminish. In the U.S., people of all faiths are free to celebrate their faith. If one particular faith, Christianity, was predominant from inception, to today, that does not preclude other religious groups from celebrating.

Congress: Hands Off

Leftists make erroneous statements about the “separation of church and state.” The phrase simply is not contained in the Constitution or any founding document. It appeared in a letter that President Thomas Jefferson sent to a Baptist congregation in Danbury, Connecticut. His note to them was designed to reaffirm that the government would not make dictates related to the church.

The First Amendment to the Constitution states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” So, when it comes to religion, Congress must keep its hand off.

As a nonreligious person, I have nothing against seeing a religious display on public or private property. Indeed, America shorn of religious symbology would be a dismal place. The Ten Commandments on a public plaque? Fine. Christmas trees in the town square? Flip on the lights! A mosque being built in America? Why not?

As long as everyone is tolerant of other religions, such developments represent no threat to anyone. It is those who operate in secret who represent a threat, as are those who wish to vanquish the rights of others to publicly exhibit symbology.

The Option to Sing Along

When I attended grammar school, I was exposed to the annual Christmas pageant. I had the choice to skip the assembly. In each case, however, I chose to enjoy the merriment of the festivities, but not sing along. My young classmates did not require me to capitulate. Nor did I expect them to modify their festival to accommodate me. Would any aware American who moved to another country expect that country to diminish their celebrations to accommodate the newbie?

I’ve had the opportunity to visit 46 of the 50 states, and 73 countries. I have walked through hallowed halls of shrines, mosques, churches, and ashrams. While Christians are being persecuted in many countries around the world, I don’t know of a single instance today where people feel unsafe in a Christian majority country.

So, I say to you, if you are a Christian, in America, please know that large numbers of us support your right to practice your religion.

For All You Do

Thank you for safeguarding the public and private expressions of others. Thank you for helping to establish a climate where non-Christians and others can feel welcome. Thank you for becoming a peaceful, tolerant religion that rightfully serves as a model for others around the globe.

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